I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
