you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Your cock deserves a montage
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
