i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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