It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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