It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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