There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Damn victory sex feels great
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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