you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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