Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
