My room smells like vodka and shame
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
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