Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
