look no pants
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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