Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I could fuck to npr.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
