I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
