You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
