im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
