i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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