So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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