my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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