...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize