My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My vagina just clenched in fear
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
