My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize