Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize