Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
