...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
