she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
