Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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