I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
ttyl tear gas
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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