I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
