Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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