Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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