And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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