my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
