If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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