News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just high enough for therapy.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
