k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
