my soul wont recognize me after tonight
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
