i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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