Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
