So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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