we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
