I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
