he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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