do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
