i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
