So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
