Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
