Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it's like heaven, but drunker
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Never underestimate the power of titties
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
