Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
