Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize