You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
