please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I love you.
Bad choice
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
