he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
