Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
