I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
