Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
