i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
