oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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