i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
