i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
