After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
