I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
