I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
